I love my mother. Let me just start with that. She understands me and my infinite and insatiable appetite for coupons and all things thrifty. You see, I have always been frugal, almost to a fault, but it has served me well. Through my thriftiness, I have acquired many things and been able to afford more. Point to anything in my home and likely it was either bought on sale or obtained at a great discount due to some awesome coupon. My latest acquisition involved 30+ free Pampers Sensitive diapers from Diapers.com! What does all of this have to do with good ol Mah? Well, a few days ago, Mom calls me to say that she is sending me the "Mother of All coupons." She was apparently given 6 coupons for free bags of Doritos. Woo Hoo! Free Doritos! Too bad I am on a diet and shouldn't eat such things....but I had a plan. If mom sent me the coupons, then I would cash them in and give the Doritos to the food bank. So, mom tells me that she will send me the coupons by email. Ok, so I get the email the next day and see a pdf with 6 coupons on a page. I print and clip and take only one to the store (because it says 'limit one per purchase')
At the store, I buy a bunch of stuff...and of course Doritos. At the checkout I give the cashier all of my coupons. She leaves and returns looking very determined. In a voice about 100 decibels louder than she was speaking before, she says "Umm Ma'am...I CANNOT accept this coupon. It is counterfeit and I cannot take counterfeit coupons." She goes on to say "We have received a memo from Doritos and have been warned that people have been trying to use these COUNTERFEIT coupons!! Ma'am, I'm going to have to confiscate this coupon." uhhh excuse me? I don't know which I am more shocked by- by the fact that my mom has steered me into some sort of misdemeanor or the fact that this 17 year-old cashier is "confiscating" something from me. I am mortified and the only response I could muster was "Well, I'm glad I didn't forward THAT email on." She whipped around and took my Doritos coupon off into the sunset. And what have I learned from all of this? Absolutely nothing, folks. Absolutely nothing. If given a coupon, I will try to use it, no matter how good it seems.
Spring is here...actually, summer is just around the corner. And with all the awesome activities that come with warmer weather, just imagine the one thing that Hubby and I chose to do. Kayak? Noooo. Biking? Nope. Hiking? No Way!...give up? We have traded in our beach going attire and aquatic lifestyle for....are you ready for this (because it's exciting) Swings! Yes, swings. Actually, swing-nonplural. Just one. One baby sized swing. Who knew this could be so thrilling to us? Forget the wind in your hair out in the water....try the adorable windblown hair of a 3 month old in a baby swing! Yes, that's right. Life has definitely changed, for the better, but still definitely changed. Here is the tale of our Adventure to the Swings of Stoney Glen.
Saturday was a beautiful day....at least it looked like a beautiful day from the comfort of inside our living room. Kevin decided that it would be a perfect day to venture to the playground of a nearby neighborhood. Since Olivia has swung once before and seemed to enjoy it, I thought, "what the heck! Let's Go!" The playground was about 3/4 of a mile away and we both needed some exercise, so Kevin diligently assembled the jogger and I got the baby into her car seat (which doesn't really go in the jogger, but we sort of jury-rigged it to fit in there) Kevin yells to me that he's ready, and without thinking, I say "Me too!" So off to the swings we go. Upon opening the garage door, I realize our first mistake. It is about 85-90 degrees out.....hmmm. Oh well. As we start walking, Kevin starts complaining that his feet hurt. When I look down, I notice he is wearing brand new sandals, which happen to be slides, a shoe type that Kevin has never owned before. So we walk slower, which makes the walk longer..and seemingly hotter. At this point, I am worried about Olivia. "We forgot sunscreen!" I say. Therefore, the rest of the walk is spent jogging between tree shadows and resting inside of them. As we keep walking, I grow very thirsty. At this point, I realize that in our infinite wisdom, we also forgot to pack water. grrrrrrr!!! At last! The swingset is in sight! But to my dismay, the opening to the playground is actually past the playground, which means we are taunted by the playground for the next 5 minutes. (Hey! 5 minutes in this sun feels like an eternity!!) Finally, we arrive at the ever elusive playground. We are hot, without sunscreen, without water, and without burpcloths. The wind picks up, which feels good but also is now responsible for blowing twigs and crap all in Olivia's jogger. I look down. She has a branch on her face... We pick her up, and place her in the babyswing, which thankfully is in the shade! Pheww. As she swings back and forth and back and forth...and back and forth, she smiles. Then she laughs. We decide it's picture time! And video time! She is adorable. She is precious. She is ours. And the entire trip is at this point, worth it. (We won't talk about the trek home and how we had to pull the jogger rather than push it, so we could keep the sun off of Olivia's delicate skin)
I don't even know where to begin....How about February? Seems as good of a time as any. Well, February 1st, my life changed forever. That was day our precious Olivia was born. What a crazy experience that was...but that's a whole other post, so for now we'll skip that. Right now, she is 4 weeks old and life in the Gyure home is crazy busy. It really makes me wonder what on Earth Kevin and I did all day and night before she joined our family. My guess is that we could've been described as Uber-Lazy. Now our days and nights no longer revolve around which movie we want to watch or which Wii game we would like to play. No, our free time (and I use that term VERY loosely) is now spent cleaning poo stains off clothing, wearing t-shirts with spit up, hunting for Paci's, carefully orchestrating bath time, trying not to ignore our pups, trying not to ignore each other, and making ridiculous faces to entice a smile or two, not to mention- having constant anxiety about her health and development....
There are also many things I have learned from our tiny new addition and motherhood in general. I will share a few with you now....
1. As far as delivery goes, get the drugs, people. Seriously...
2. It's after delivery that you have to worry about. Why wasn't I told about this?
3. Baby poo with "seeds" in it is NORMAL. No need to listen to your husband who tells you to change your diet thinking that your breast milk is riddled with excess fat.
4. Just because your newborn stares at the ceiling fan more than you does NOT mean she has Autism.
5. Stretch marks don't go away just because the pregnancy did.
6. That funky smell is probably the spit up on your shoulder.
7. The word "projectile" can now be easily paired with pooping, vomiting, and other gross things.
8. Showering is privilege, not a right.
9. Husbands who offer to diaper change in the middle of the night are the real men!
10. Breastfeeding is BEST-est diet ever! All I can say is - "32 pounds in 3 weeks!"
