Things That Make you Go Hmmmmmm

It has been a while since I have been able to blog about life. Mainly because life has been hectic, crazy, and just plain exhausting. Last Saturday, Kevin and I went to meet a man who was buying something from my craigslist posting (Don't worry, it wasn't the Carigslist killer...just a man who wanted our Playstation 1) Anyway, we were pretty early so we decided to stop at Lowe's and buy a light bulb. That's right, just a bulb. After finding the teeny tiny bulb, we notice that the lines at the registers are getting quite long. Being our efficient selves, we split up to find the shortest register and call the other person to come to THAT register. OK, I go to lawn and garden and spot the mecca of all registers. It is a girl who is just about to open her lane. I dash to the register and about the same time, a woman pushing a cart of patio furniture approaches. I decide to do the "Christian" thing and let her go first. ( actually that is a lie. a blatent lie. Kevin had the bulb, so I would have been up there paying for nothing.) Anyways, she goes in front of me and I place the call to Kevin. "Hurry! Hurry!" I say. "there's only one lady in front of me. Bring the bulb!!!" About 10 seconds later Kevin arrives, bulb in hand. Just as he slows down, he notices something very odd about the transaction occurring in front of us. I look over after hearing the cashier say "That'll be 395.50, ma'am" What I see, appauls me. What I see, would only happen to us...as we are in a hurry. The woman in front of us proceeded to remove from her purse, large rubber-banded wads of one dollar bills. Uuuuuuhhhhhh, What? One dollar bills? I kid you not. There were so many wads, the bills were so curly, the cashier was so mortified,....that this called for a Kodak moment. Thank You Blackberry :)

The woman would count out 50 ones and hand them to the cashier, who then recounted those ones.....allllllllllthe way to 400$. At this point, I have nothing left to do but wait. So as I wait, I try to conjecture about how this woman attained all of these dollar bills. Let's examine the facts: She is attractive (so maybe a local exotic dancer), she is handling the money very quickly (maybe she is a server somewhere...perhaps at a local exotic dance club), and lastly, she appears to have stored the money for a long period of time (maybe to hide from a pimp or controlling boyfriend-that she met at a local exotic dance club). I have decided to myself, that whatever her occupation or means to get these one dollar bills, if she needs to pay for a 400$ patio set with 1$ bills, then she should probably not be buying a patio set at all. For example, she could buy a wallet. A wallet that would hold a debit card which could be linked to a bank containing all of her 1$ bills. Call me crazy.....

As I finally get up to the register, the poor cashier is left holding an 8 inch thick stack of 1$ bills. She has nowhere to put them. I offer to take them home with me, so she could have room in her register (hey, it was the least I could do). Unfortunately, she doesn't go for it. She just spreads them all over under the register and now it won't close. By now, the Playstaion guy has called Kevin and we have explain that we are stuck at Lowe's...behind monstrous stacks of cash.....